) has multiple sclerosis. Apparently she was diagnosed well after we divorced. And it turns out that my current wife, who has endometriosis, has been reading her blog for about 6 months. She came across it from one of her online chronic illness support groups. There's something very comforting about knowing that, despite how alienating and isolating it can be to have a disease for which there is no cure, you are not alone. There are others out there who are going through the same thing you're going through.
I also found out that she (my ex-wife) was raped as a young girl. She'd never told me while we were together. And apparently in the time since we split up, she'd married an abusive drug addict that gave her, among other things, a spontaneous abortion and PTSD. It was shocking to find all of this out, and my deepest sympathies go out to her. No one should have to go through abuse at any age, and the fact that she was so terribly mistreated, both as a child and as an adult, is heartbreaking.
I posted a brief comment on her blog post expressing my sympathy for her situation. Shortly thereafter, said post was removed.
When you've loved someone, and it goes sour, part of you wants to hate them. Part of you wishes you'd never met them. And yet, part of you knows that a small part of you will always care about them, in one way or another. So, perhaps my comment was unwelcome, but it was well-intentioned. I guess I hoped that if she knew I don't harbor any ill will towards her, it would mean something, and maybe make her feel better. Because honestly, she's been through some horrible shit that I wouldn't wish on anybody.